The Hills: People sit around for awhile on camera and get paid to do it.

Whoa. I'm already bored and the credits haven't even rolled yet. Suprised? Me neither.

Pre-Natasha Bedingfield, Whitney and Lauren (I like to list Lauren second because I think it makes her feel less important/die inside) are chatting about stuff. Blahblahblah NewYorkGuy blah blah blah Holly is staying with Lauren (I wonder if the producers pay Lauren extra to take in castoffs for plot purposes?).

OH lord. JB and Audrina are “down at the boardwalk” – and by boardwalk I mean slumming it in Venice. Audrina notes how different it is from LA. See – the ocean! You can’t see that from Hollywood Blvd! Sooooo weird!



Heidi is “cleaning out her closet” (actually...not metaphorically...I don’t think Heidi is capable of metaphors) all made up with her hair curled. Ahhh...remember the days when throwing on a cover up coming in from the beach was all the “camera ready” these girls needed? I do like that Spencer is staring up into the closet, as if Audrina's parakeet got lost up there or something.



Audrina and Lauren go out for a drink. Nothing really happens here so I will spare you the details.



Audrina and her sister hang out at Audrina’s house. A lot of nothing continues to go down.



Heidi goes to grovel to Sam for her job. Literally, the only thing clear to me here is that Sam doesn’t give a crap about Heidi being lame because it is continued free publicity for SBE. Obviously! If you didn’t fully catch that, Sam tilted his computer screen towards the camera with “SBE” emblazoned across the screen, just in case.



Stephanie and Lauren chat it up about Holly, the new houseguest. Looks like the economy is taking it’s toll on Lauren’s Louboutins.



Lo, Holly and Lauren sit around the kitchen drinking wine.

Whoa! Continuity error! What’s up with Holly’s hair? We bounce back and forth between these two hairstyles for this scene. Way to go, MTV editing department.





More sitting around commences at casa de Speidi. Spencer scripdedly belittles Heidi, her family and the world, and Heidi just sits there, setting women’s rights back 100 years.



Audrina and JB have dinner as usual and JB gives her a present, a shirt she liked, immediately followed by the comment “No bras with that.” Ah, class. He’s in luck...her fake boobs need no support. He keeps throwing out phrases like “maturity in relationships is key,” “living and learning,” and “growing up” – basically with no sentence structure. I’ll bet the producers gave him his script with a grandiose speech and he just kind of took notes on his hand and threw out these words for good measure.



Next week we get to see the dramz go down when Audrina feeds the media with a fake rumor is betrayed by Lauren and J-B. I'm so thrilled I can hardly stand it...hmm, right. See you then!